Sweet Madness
by coldfusion9797
Summary: Sometimes all it takes is someone who understands. Dean/Ryder.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: A really random pairing, but one that I'm totally digging. This idea is about 24 hours old, it popped into my head so I wrote it down just for something different. Enjoy.**

Life sucked sometimes. Ever since Ty left it had been on a slide and now that he'd broken up with Coco, things were even worse. He was lonely. Leah thought he should have some male friends. It had never really occurred to him to think it was weird that he didn't until she mentioned it. So when he saw Dean at the beach kicking a footy around, he figured that was blokey and something mates did, so he'd asked to join in. Dean liked him, had helped him out with some advice, not that it had stopped him breaking up with Coco but the guidance was right. Throwing Raffy under the bus was a low thing to do.

But Dean turned him down. He honestly hadn't expected that, and it hurt.

He'd been licking his wounds when Dean appeared, flashed him a cocky grin and asked if he was up for a game of pool. It had taken him less than a second to agree.

He felt better when he was with Dean, like if Dean thought he was cool, then maybe he was. He'd seen Dean around the caravan park, knew how popular he was with chicks. Really, he could be hanging out with anyone he wanted to right now, but he had picked Ryder. It was the confidence boost he needed.

Then Dean had opened up, told him a little about the River Boys, a gang he used to hang out with. That in itself was cool, but he talked too about mateship and loyalty, things Ryder needed and he began to wonder if he could be part of it too.

But then Grumps was giving him a hard time, carrying on that Dean wasn't good enough. So what if he was a criminal? Dean was nice to him and that was all Ryder cared about. But then Dean turned on him, sided with Grumps and Leah, suggested that maybe he should go home. Maybe it was because Dean thought he was just a kid. Well, Ryder had decided to prove the River Boy wrong.

At that's what led him to this moment, to creeping into this well, creepy, old house. River Boy initiation. All he had to do was stick it out for one night and then Dean would have to take him seriously.

xxx

"Hey Colbs, cop question..."

Colby frowned over at him.

"What did you do this time? You do know it's only been about four hours since you beat the last charge."

"Nothing," Dean defended, though admittedly he was thinking about it. "Yet…"

"Dean..."

"Na, it's cool. What's the age of consent again?"

"Dean! Kids? Seriously? That's a new low even for you."

"Ease up. Why do you think I asked? I'm not gonna do anything I shouldn't."

"It's sixteen. Not that that means a sixteen-year-old should be dating you or whatever the hell you've got in mind. Who have you got your eye on?"

"No one really. There's just this kid that I think might have a bit of a thing for me. Just checking it was legal if he tries anything."

"He? I thought you only hooked up with chicks these days."

"Chicks are easier to hit on, that's for sure. But I'm up for whatever, always was, you know that."

"Yeah..." Colby said, cheeks turning a shade darker. Dean laughed, he'd only said it to stir Colby up. Reminding him of those few teenage hook-ups always did it, because Colby didn't consider himself gay or even bi.

"Well," he said, standing up and clapping Colby on the shoulder. "Thanks for the beer. And it's good to know they won't throw me inside if this kid does work up some courage. Later."

Ryder was a bit weird, but that was probably just his age. All the kids these days were a bit strange. He was alright though, easy enough to get along with.

Dean was heading past the bait shop when Old Man Stewart called out to him.

"Thompson! Have you seen Ryder?"

"Na."

"Well he's missing, and I blame you."

Sounded about right. Everyone always thought the worst of him.

"I was in court all day," Dean defended.

"Well he's been acting out since you became mates."

Dean needed to nip this in the bud, the old man needed to get his facts straight.

"Okay, we are not mates. He approached me a couple of times. I felt sorry for the kid. That's all."

Alf continued to glare at him, Dean didn't need any more trouble.

"Look, I'll help you find him. Maybe then you'll believe me."

xxx

He got Ryder's number off Ziggy. He tried calling first. No answer. That was probably fair enough. Ryder didn't know the number, he tried a text instead.

 **Its dean didnt get locked up. U up for a game of pool?**

There was no answer. He checked the usual kid hang outs with no luck and then he started to think. Maybe the kid was upset. Where would he go if he was? Dean didn't know him well enough, but he did know what it was like to be alone. And about going to the house when Colby was gone, and then it clicked. He'd told Ryder about that place. Maybe he was dumb enough to go looking in Mangrove River. The kid would be eaten alive if he had.

He jumped in his car and pulled out his phone.

"Mossy, you seen any dorky Summer Bay kids kicking around town today?"

"How would I know?"

"This kid wears horrible shirts."

"Yeah?" Mossy laughed. "Hang on."

Dean could hear him calling out to the boys he was with.

"Affirmative. He was asking questions about the River Boys."

"Shit. Where is he now?"

"Well he wanted to be a River Boy. There's only one place that can happen."

"Yep. Thanks," Dean hung up. The boys woulda though it was a great joke to send such a clueless kid around there alone. Hopefully Ryder hadn't run into too much trouble.

xxx

He stopped calling for help once it got dark. No one was coming. He'd dropped his phone when the stairs had collapsed. So much for the stupid thing being useful in an emergency. Anyway, it wasn't like it mattered all that much, getting rescued, no one was going to miss him much.

His leg was jammed in the splinted floorboards, at first he'd felt the blood filling up his shoe, but the whole thing had gone kind of numb now. That probably wasn't a good sign, but at least it didn't hurt anymore.

At first he thought he was dreaming, because he had been feeling sleepy, but then he realised the voice was real.

"In here!" he called back when the voice shouted his name.

It was Dean who appeared.

"Shit mate, what have you done?"

"Nothing!" Ryder defended. "It just collapsed."

"I didn't mean... Are you alright?"

"I'm stuck. Obviously. I think my leg is hurt kinda bad."

"Okay, I'm gonna make a call."

Dean quickly did that, giving nowhere near enough details for the ambos to find them. Ryder told him so.

"That was Colby. He'll sort it. Now, what can I do until they get here?"

"Just... Don't leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere, mate."

He didn't remember too much after that, just that he'd been tired and now that Dean was here, he could rest.

xxx

He didn't get in the way once the ambos arrived. They'd taken Ryder to hospital and that was enough. He'd done his part to help the kid.

Still, the following morning he wondered if he should visit the hospital, check in and see how he was doing. He did feel kind of responsible for putting the dumb idea in the kid's head to begin with. He may as well go, it wasn't like he had anywhere else to be right now. Community service orientation wasn't until this arvo.

At the hospital Alf and Leah greeted him gratefully. Clearly they knew he'd been the one to find the kid, but not the reason he'd gotten into trouble to begin with.

"Mind if I go see him?"

"No mate, go for it," Alf allowed.

He stepped into the room, kind of unsure where to go from here. It wasn't like he and Ryder were friends, he didn't really know the kid, so he just went for the obvious.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"I'm alright. Doctors said I should be out of here tomorrow."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

And then the conversation ran out. Because there were other important questions to ask, but Dean didn't know if he was the right person to ask them. But then, if he didn't, who would?

"Hey-"

"So-"

They both started at the same time.

"You go," Dean smiled.

"Okay. So, I just wanted to say thanks. You probably saved my life."

"That's a bit dramatic, but you're welcome."

"How'd you find me anyway?"

"The boys said a kid was asking around. Figured it was you."

"So much for the River Boy code of silence," Ryder pouted.

"You are not a River Boy."

"True. I didn't last the whole night."

"You didn't even make nine o'clock. Anyway, think yourself lucky you don't need to be a River Boy."

"Why's that?"

"It's for people who have no other family. Or at least not one that wants them."

"Your family didn't want you?"

Dean's mind flashed to that short call with his mum, and the sound of the line going dead. He just shrugged.

"My mum didn't want me," Ryder said softly. And just like that a switch flipped, here was this huge, unexpected thing that they had in common.

"Me neither," Dean confided. There was nothing else either of them needed to say on the subject, they both understood exactly how shit that was.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," Dean offered. He'd seen for himself now that the kid was alright, there was no need to hang around.

"I'll see you around?" There was more hope in Ryder's voice then there strictly should have been, but Dean didn't have the heart to disappoint him.

"Yeah mate. I'll kick your butt in pool when you get out of here."

"Yeah right. You wish," Ryder grinned, and it was nice to see a smile on his face again.

xxx

"Best of three?" Dean suggested, setting the game again.

"Um, can we maybe just talk for a bit?"

Talking wasn't a strong point of Dean's, but he guessed he could listen if the kid had something on his mind.

"Sure," he agreed, returning the cue to its rack.

"Maybe not here. Maybe the beach?"

"Okay..." he allowed.

They headed outside and found a spot to sit in the dunes. It was a good call, Dean always felt better on the sand, near the water.

When Ryder didn't say anything, Dean wondered if that meant he should.

"What's up?" he prompted.

"I've been thinking about everything. Me having no friends, you showing up when you did. About us, I guess."

Well there were two innocent letters that could be pretty scary sitting side by side. Us.

Ryder turned to him, all doe-eyed innocence. But Dean now knew it wasn't the whole truth, Ryder knew what real pain was.

"I mean, you found me. You. No one else. That means something. Right?"

"It just means I'm the only one stupid enough to think like you."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

"I really like you."

"I like you too."

"No, I mean I _really_ like you."

"Oh."

"And I think maybe you like me too...?"

The statement didn't end quite as confidently as it began, but Dean couldn't exactly say the kid was wrong. It was weird, he did kinda feel something for this dorky teenager.

"Even if I did-" He didn't know exactly where that sentence was going, but apparently it didn't matter, it was deemed irrelevant when Ryder's lips landed on his.

The kiss wasn't much, a peck more than anything, but Ryder looked so pleased with himself when pulled back.

"I got kissed by a boy once, and I freaked out a bit, but I'm thinking now maybe that was because it was the wrong boy."

"That wasn't me kissing you," Dean pointed out.

"Oh..." Ryder's smile wilted a little around the edges, and Dean realised that was the last thing he wanted.

"That was you attempting to kiss me. Here," he said, sliding his hand behind Ryder's neck. "Try this."

He pulled Ryder in and caught his parted lips in a firm kiss, slipping his tongue into Ryder's mouth, swiping it over the kid's. He could feel Ryder melting into it, the kid needed this. He also didn't need to be caught and cop a dressing down for it. This was something just for the two of them. Dean ended the kiss, pulling his mouth away but keeping his hand pressed against Ryder's skin.

"Yeah," Ryder said, a dopey grin on his face. "Yeah, that's a kiss."

Dean couldn't help smiling too.

"It gets better with practice," he offered.

"Now?"

"Maybe not here. I don't think your family would be too happy about this."

"I don't care what they think."

"You should. They're good people."

"But I don't want this to be over already."

"I never said that," Dean smirked.

Ryder's smile brightened once more.

"So, how do we do this?"

"We'll figure something out."

Dean dropped his hand and turned back to the face the ocean, content in the knowledge that Ryder was with him. And if he felt a hand sneak over his in the sand, well no one else was gonna notice that.

 **AN: One more part to this story. It's all but written, I've just gotta edit it. Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay, so the second part turned into two parts, which means there's still more of this story to come after this. Thanks to those who reviewed. Enjoy :)**

Ryder didn't know what had possessed him. He was glad it had, that kiss had been awesome, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen how kissing someone out of the blue could backfire, Ty had showed him that.

It was like Dean had been sitting there, looking all smokin' hot and super cool, and he just couldn't help himself.

It was late-ish, but Ryder didn't worry about that, Dean probably didn't go to bed till like midnight or something anyway. He knocked on the door of the caravan.

"Ryder?" Dean frowned down at him. "What's up?"

Ryder hadn't really known what to expect. Fireworks? Eighties love ballads? Something? But it didn't feel like anything had changed between them at all. That was kind of disappointing. Maybe he'd read too much into the whole thing.

"Um, I thought maybe we could hang out?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Dean said, glancing over Ryder's shoulder probably to check that they were alone.

Well at least that was something, but now that Dean wasn't ignoring that something had happened between them, Ryder thought maybe he preferred it when he was. If Dean was going to dis him, it called for drastic action.

"You're sending me away?" he said, giving Dean his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean huffed out a breath.

"No," he said, grabbing Ryder and pulling him inside.

There wasn't much room in the van.

"How is it? Living in a van?"

"Beats Colby's couch or my car."

"Right."

"What are you doing here?"

"I have trouble sleeping sometimes," Ryder shrugged.

"Because of what happened?"

"No, I always have. There isn't really a reason. Can I stay here?"

"What? For the night?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. It didn't have to be a massive deal.

He waited while Dean considered. He knew what the question implied, and he knew how awkward things had been with Coco, but this didn't feel like that. It felt easy and natural. He was comfortable with Dean, he knew Dean wasn't secretly judging everything he did. With Dean, all he had to do was be himself. And after that, well whatever happened happened.

"Just so we're clear," Dean stated. "Nothing is gonna happen."

Huh, it was almost like he'd read Ryder's mind.

"Why not?"

"Jesus," Dean laughed. "You're a kid to start with."

"I'm seventeen," Ryder defended.

"You're right, that doesn't really matter. But I think we both need time to get used to this idea. So you can stay, but only to sleep, if you think it'll help."

"Okay," Ryder allowed with a smile.

xxx

Dean was woken sometime in the night by a crash. It took him a second to realise he was alone in bed and shouldn't be. It wasn't like he hadn't had his fair share of sleepovers lately, but this time it was important.

He blinked through the darkness, making out a shape not too far away. It was Ryder, battling with the kitchen cupboard.

"What are you doing?" he grumbled. He wanted some proper sleep, he had work in the morning.

Something crashed to the floor.

"Hey, what the hell?" he demanded, flicking the light on. Ryder didn't react, and he realised the kid must be sleepwalking. Shit. He didn't really have any experience dealing with this kind of thing, but he remembered hearing somewhere that you shouldn't wake someone up when they were like this. Probably the best thing to do would be to get him back to bed.

He got up and went to the kid, sliding an arm around his shoulders.

"C'mon mate, this way," he coaxed, guiding him back to the bed. Eventually, he got Ryder to settle down. He was still unsure about exactly what he should do so he went with the most logical solution to make Ryder say put, tucking in behind him and slipping an arm around him.

He'd always preferred having someone to share his bed, ever since he was a kid and Colby first started climbing in the bedroom window. Lately it was random chicks, basically anyone who'd say yes.

But this was different, better, and now that he knew he wasn't being locked up, maybe he could start something. Because it was nice, he thought, to be wanted by someone for more than sex, or his willingness to commit crimes. Maybe this could be his shot at something real.

xxx

The kid slept through the alarm, so Dean left him sleeping while he got ready for work.

He was nearly ready when Ryder blinked awake and smiled softly up at him. That look probably affected him more than it should, but he couldn't help thinking that if a sweet kid like Ryder wanted him, maybe he wasn't all bad, not like his mum said.

"I gotta go to work."

"School..." Ryder groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Dean had to laugh, he remembered that feeling, that's why he hadn't bothered going half the time. In hindsight though, maybe he should have tried harder, maybe he wouldn't have ended up in prison if he had. And now, being enrolled at TAFE, well studying was the reason he hadn't gone back.

"Hey," he said, leaning one knee on the bed and pulling Ryder's arm back so he could see his face. "School's important."

"But it's such a drag..."

"Suck it up, princess. Now I gotta go." Then without really thinking, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ryder's pouting mouth. He pulled back to find Ryder giving him that dopey grin again.

"I'll see you later," Dean said, working to suppress his own smile.

"Uh-huh," Ryder agreed, still grinning like a dope as Dean headed out the door.

xxx

"You're in a good mood," Ziggy teased the second he arrived at the garage. How could she know that already?

"Well I did just avoid a prison sentence."

"Ah, touché. It's not just that though," she said, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully at him. He resisted the urge to squirm. It might be weird telling her he was sort of dating her kid sister's ex. Okay, there was no might about it, hopefully she'd let it go.

"You got some last night," she concluded.

"No, actually. For a change, I didn't."

"Oh," she frowned, but then her eyes grew wide with realisation. " _Ohh..._ "

"What?" he said nervously, he didn't like the glint in her eye.

"You met someone. Someone you _like_..."

Had he? Well no, he already knew the kid, but he knew what she was talking about, and she was right. He wasn't gonna give her the satisfaction of admitting it though. Not to mention it made him a little nervous that it had been so obvious to her. He didn't like being so easy to read.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Now don't you have some work to do?"

She picked up a spanner and waved it at him.

"Don't think that's the end of this, Dean Thompson. I will find out who's got you so loved up."

"Whatever," he threw back, feeling that silly smile threatening to break out on his face again.

xxx

"Ryder! Where have you been?!" Leah fussed when he walked in the door. Well yeah, he was wearing his PJ's.

"I think I've been sleepwalking," he fibbed.

"Are you alright?" she checked. "How's your leg?"

"It's fine. I have to get ready for school."

He took off upstairs to do that, and to hide the smile he could feel spreading across his face again. He couldn't believe it, he'd spent the night in bed with someone. With Dean! How awesome! Dean was a grown-up, Dean was cool, and Dean liked him. Maybe his luck was changing. Maybe he wasn't a massive loser. Maybe good things were finally coming his way.

xxx

With his homework taken care of, Ryder slammed his book shut. Finally, he could go see if Dean was home from work.

"Where are you going?" Leah asked.

"To see Dean." He could tell most of the truth. He didn't like lying, not after what had happened with Raffy and Coco.

"Okay," she allowed. She didn't seem super pleased about it but after what Dean had done for him, she couldn't exactly say no.

Ryder walked over to Dean's van. If his leg hadn't still been tender, he might have run. He loved having somewhere to be and someone to be with.

He found Dean outside, chilling by the fire with a beer. He looked so cool, Ryder wanted to kiss him.

"Hey," he smiled, taking a seat.

"Hey," Dean smiled back. "How was school?"

"Fine. Boring, but fine. How was work?"

"Better than prison."

"Right..." He forgot sometimes that Dean had actually been in jail. It must've sucked, but Dean was free now, that's what mattered. "So, I was thinking, we shouldn't hide this. I mean, we aren't doing anything wrong."

Dean shot him a sceptical look.

"I don't think your granddad will see it that way."

It wasn't fair.

"Everyone was so proud of Ty when he said he was gay. They'd be hypocrites if they didn't say the same to me."

"I don't think they'll be worried about that..."

"You think they'll have a problem with you? Because of the age difference?"

"Among other things."

"I don't care about your past..."

All the expression left Dean's face. Crap.

"I mean, I care, of course I do, but it doesn't make me like you any less. You've made mistakes, you've paid for them."

"Am paying," Dean corrected.

"Same difference, you're not hiding from what you've done. And this?" he said, gesturing between them. "Well I think it's something to be proud of."

Dean looked at him in disbelief. Ryder knew what it was to feel unworthy, he didn't want Dean to feel that way anymore.

"So you've done some dumb stuff," he said with a smile, throwing Dean's own words back at him. "You're a good person. I believe in us and the fresh start we both deserve."

"You'd be okay with people giving you a hard time about this?"

"Yeah," he said, not one-hundred percent confident that it wouldn't get to him, but more than willing to give it a go. He'd regret it more if he didn't try.

To prove his point, he leaned over and kissed Dean. It seemed like a good time to do so, to show Dean he was serious. But maybe it wasn't because suddenly it didn't matter if they were ready for people to know or not, the scariest person of all had seen.

xxx

"What the flamin' hell is going on here?!" Alf bellowed.

Ryder jumped back.

"Grumps!"

Dean should have known he couldn't have anything good. He was going to lose this before it had even begun.

"Inside! Now!" Alf yelled furiously at his grandson. And this was the moment, to see if Ryder meant all that stuff he'd just said. If Dean was a betting man, he would have put money against it. But Ryder surprised him when he stood his ground.

"No."

"Now you listen here young fella," Alf said through gritted teeth.

"No! I'm not going anywhere."

It reminded Dean of last time at the surf club. He'd sided against Ryder then, he wasn't going to do that this time.

"You heard him," Dean said, getting up and planting himself beside Ryder.

"You stay out of this," Alf warned. He might think he was intimidating, but Dean had faced some truly terrifying people, and Alf Stewart wasn't one of them.

"Can't do that. I'm in it now."

Maybe stirring Alf up wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the look of admiration he got from Ryder made it totally worth it.

"I'm not a kid, Grumps. I can make my own decisions."

"This isn't a discussion," Alf stated. "It's not happening."

"Yes, it is," Ryder argued.

"Not while you live under my roof, it isn't."

"Do you really want to make me choose? I will, and the choice won't be you."

"I've had enough of your attitude!"

"I'm serious!" Ryder insisted. "I'm not giving Dean up!"

"Yes, you are. I don't want to hear another word about it."

"No! You can't make me. Dean, let's go."

Dean hesitated for a second. He loved that Ryder was willing to put him above everything, but he didn't wanna be the reason the kid lost his family.

"Dean, c'mon," Ryder insisted, pulling on his hand. In the end he went with his gut, and that told him that if they stuck together they'd be okay. He shot Alf an apologetic look and followed Ryder, all he could do for now was hope that the old man wouldn't disown his grandson once he'd had a chance to simmer down.

When they got to the beach, Ryder freaked out.

"Oh man, what did I just do? He's gonna be so mad."

"Look, you can take it back if you want. He's family. I get it."

"What? No," Ryder rounded on him. "I meant everything I said." Then he grabbed Dean's face and kissed him. It was messy and desperate, and admittedly kinda hot. To know that someone was this worked up over him. Then the kiss kind of morphed into a hug, and Ryder was clinging onto him.

"We can make this work, right?"

Dean tightened his arms around the kid, it had been a long time since he'd held anyone like it mattered quite so much.

"We can try."

 **AN: Thanks for reading and stay tuned :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This last part contains my prediction for where Dean's storyline will go. (If you know anything for certain, no spoilers please.) Enjoy!**

He was gonna stay with Dean, because it was too late to make other arrangements. It wasn't really gonna work though.

"All my stuffs at the house," Ryder sighed.

"You can't avoid them for forever..." Dean pointed out.

"One night would have been nice though. Give Grumps a chance to cool off."

There was a knock at the door, it was Leah.

"Ryder," she said sternly. "You can't stay here."

"Well Grumps said I can't go home."

"He didn't mean that. He was angry, and frankly a little shocked."

"Why? Everyone thought Ty was amazing when he came out. Why is it different for me?"

"You know why," she said, glancing at Dean. Ryder folded his arms, he wasn't gonna make this easy for her.

"Pretend I'm an idiot and explain it to me."

"You're not old enough to spend the night with your... boyfriend." Admirably she got the word out, even if she did almost choke on it.

"Technically, I am."

"We wouldn't have allowed it with Coco either." Well that was actually true, they hadn't even been allowed alone in the house together for an hour. "Look, you say you're old enough to make this decision so prove it. Come home now and in the morning when everyone has calmed down, we'll discuss it properly."

"You promise we'll actually talk about it? You'll listen to our side too?"

"Yes."

He turned to look at Dean, wondering what he thought and if they should trust her.

"I'll come up to the house in the morning before work," Dean said.

"Come for dinner instead," Leah offered. "We want to have time to talk about this properly."

"Alright," he agreed.

Ryder turned to Dean, stepping close, squeezing his hand and looking him in the eye.

"This isn't me taking back any of what I said. But I'd rather we don't have to fight the whole world for this."

"I don't wanna come between you and your family."

"That's up to them," Ryder said. He'd already decided he wasn't giving Dean up just because other people said so. To emphasise that point he leaned and kissed Dean, even though he knew Leah was watching. It wasn't anything over the top, just a firm press of lips to let both Dean and Leah know exactly how serious he was.

xxx

Talk about embarrassing. Colby was the community service supervisor today. Palmer was crook, so DOCS had grabbed a cop as a last-minute replacement.

It was one thing to pay his debt to society by scrubbing a toilet block, it was another to do it while his pig best mate watched on smirking.

Maybe one good thing at least was that he could get out some of his nerves about the upcoming dinner.

"Old Man Stewart sprung me and the kid."

Colby didn't even pretend to be sympathetic, he just outright laughed.

"Bet he blew a gasket."

"You could say that. Now I gotta front up to some stupid family dinner and plead my case. I thought I was done with court."

"Dean Thompson, respectable boyfriend," Colby grinned. He wasn't really helping.

"It could happen," Dean defended, even though he didn't really believe it.

"Didn't say it couldn't. Seriously though mate, try not to stuff this up if it's what you really want. There's no reason you can't have the same things as everyone else. You deserve to be happy too."

"You really believe that?"

"Of course. I left that life behind, you can too."

Maybe Colby was right, maybe it was time to give himself a break.

"Now get back to scrubbing. McCarthy comes down here and catches us gas-bagging it won't be pretty for either of us."

"Yes, constable," Dean dead-panned, dunking his scrubbing brush back in the dunny.

"Senior constable," Colby corrected, which in Dean's opinion was just asking for it.

"What was that?" he said innocently, spinning around, brush in hand, 'accidentally' flicking toilet water all over Colby's shiny blue uniform. It was the best.

"Dean!" Colby yelled, looking down at his gross, toilet-water pig suit. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Sorry officer," Dean said, even though he wasn't, not even a little bit.

"You're gonna pay for that," Colby threatened, an evil smile appearing on his face. It reminded him of when they were kids, stirring each other up, and it was kinda nice to know that Colby could drop the cop act and think of them as friends first.

"I'll scream police brutality. I swear."

"It'll keep," Colby decided, backing off.

"Worth it," Dean said, getting back to his task, now in a much better mood than when he'd begun.

xxx

Oh Jesus, how did it come to this? Here they were, the four of them, sitting at the table in the big house, discussing rules for dating. Didn't there used to be a John Ritter comedy like this? Dean didn't find it funny. But the fact that he was sitting here at all said a lot about his commitment to this relationship.

"Rule one," Leah said. "You don't sleep together. And by sleep, I mean sleep and sex."

"Rule two," Alf added, directing it at Ryder. "You do not set foot in that caravan."

"Rule three," Leah said. "Dates in public places only. The beach, the surf club, places where you aren't alone."

"Do I get to have a say?" Ryder complained. "You said this would be a discussion."

"It is," Leah said. "But those rules are non-negotiable."

"It's not like either of us are gonna get pregnant," Ryder grumbled.

Christ, the old man nearly choked to death on his moussaka when the kid came out with that. Okay, maybe it was a little amusing, Dean thought it best to keep his mouth shut though.

"People have sex for a lot of other reasons," Leah rationally pointed out. "And that attitude just proves you are not mature enough for it." Then she turned to Dean. "I'm trusting you make sure that rule is followed."

He nodded, what else could he do? Following rules wasn't a strong suit of his, but he would have to give it a go if he wanted this to work. It did leave him wondering though, how he'd gotten in so deep, so quick. Family dinners and chats with parents weren't really his thing, but when he shared a look with Ryder, saw the hopefulness in his eyes, he was reminded it was worth it.

"Now," Leah continued, speaking to Dean. "We can't ignore your history. You have to understand that we only want what's best for Ryder, and that means that he doesn't get into trouble. He has to finish school, and if we hear one word about anything involving the police, this is done."

Yeah, he got the picture, they thought he was bad news. It was true that he'd done things he shouldn't have, he knew that, but he had always done them for the right reasons. He'd gone to prison for Colby, had been ready to go again for Willow. He wanted to tell them how important loyalty was to him, and how he always did everything he could for the people he cared about, and how Ryder was quickly climbing to the top of that list. How that meant he would never do anything to willingly hurt the kid or get him into trouble. But they wouldn't believe him. No one ever did. The best he could do was follow their dumb rules and hope they eventually saw that.

"Look, I know I've done dumb things, things I'm not proud of, but I'm done with all that. I've had a wake-up call, got a second chance. I'm not gonna waste it."

"Well that's good," Leah allowed.

"Dean's doing an apprenticeship, you know," Ryder said. "He's gonna be a mechanic."

"Is that right?" Alf said, actually sounding half interested. To be fair, the old man had been pretty good about the whole assault thing, maybe they could reach a middle ground with this.

"Yeah," Dean confirmed, surprised by how good it felt to have something about himself he could be proud of. He knew it was early days, that it could all still go horribly wrong, but right now it was good. "Justin signed me up. It's working out so far."

Alf and Leah shared a look, maybe a little surprised, but they both seemed kinda proud of him too. He liked that, and it made him wonder, maybe his mum might see it that way too if he could get her to talk to him.

xxx

The next couple of days were actually pretty smooth sailing. For one thing, Grumps had run off to Hawaii. And then between work, community service and school, they were both pretty busy, but they hung out in the evenings, outside the caravan.

"Have you told anyone about us?" Ryder asked.

"Just Colby."

"He's your best mate?"

"Yeah. We grew up together."

"You two ever..." Ryder asked with a devilish glint in his eye.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Just curious," the kid shrugged.

"Maybe once or twice," Dean smirked.

"Since he's been back?"

"God, no. Colby grew out of his bi-curious stage years ago."

"Right," Ryder frowned. Now what?

"What?"

"You think I'll grow out of this?" Oh man, that opened up a whole can of worms about the future and commitment and stuff. Things Dean wasn't ready, and may never be ready, to talk about.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Who cares? If I've learned anything it's to enjoy what you have while you have it."

"Like what we have."

"Yep. If it makes you happy now, don't poke at it."

"That's pretty good advice."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. He just wished he was better at following it.

xxx

Shifts at the juice bar were definitely more interesting now that Dean was doing community service. Not that he was happy that Dean was being punished, but well the view had vastly improved.

Mr Palmer had Dean hauling boxes, trouping in and out of the surf club, muscles all flexed.

"Hey Ryder."

He turned his attention to Coco and Raffy.

"What can I get you guys?" he asked. The sooner he served them, the sooner he could get back to enjoying the view.

"We're not here for juice," Coco said.

"So why are you here?" Ryder wondered, eyes wandering back to his hot boyfriend.

"To see you, silly," Raffy answered, as though that was totally obvious. He didn't think it was though, he hadn't seen much of them lately.

"Me?" Ryder said distractedly, attention on Dean again.

"Yeah," Coco said.

"Well here I am..."

"What's up with you?" Raffy said, turning to follow his line of sight.

"Nothing," Ryder said, quickly busying himself with juicing some oranges.

"I heard that John had some community service people here," Raffy said, noticing Dean.

"Has Dean been hassling you?" Coco wondered.

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"You keep watching him," Raffy pointed out.

"No, I don't." He knew he was avoiding the subject, but it wasn't because he was embarrassed or anything, it was just that it was Coco and she was his ex.

"Yes, you do," Coco insisted.

"It's not what you think. Now you want anything to drink?"

He couldn't help but notice that Dean was watching the conversation now, and Dean wasn't one to shy away from confrontation.

He dumped the box he was holding and came over to the bar.

"You due for a break yet?"

"Um, I don't actually get one. My shift is a short one."

Dean's lips twitched in a smirk, and quick as a flash he was leaning over the bar and pulling Ryder into a kiss.

"Later then," he said, throwing Ryder a grin and getting back to work.

Ryder wondered if he looked as stunned as the girls did.

"What was that?" Raffy managed.

"Um, yeah. So, Dean and I are kinda dating now."

"Kinda?" Coco quizzed.

"Well not kind of, we are."

"Since when are you gay?" Raffy questioned. "What about Ty?"

"What about him?"

"He kissed you and you freaked out. You didn't wanna date him."

"Okay, first I did not freak out. No more than anyone else who randomly gets kissed by a mate. What would you do if I suddenly kissed you right now? And secondly, just because I like boys doesn't mean I like every boy. Ask Coco, she likes guys but she didn't want me."

"I wouldn't put it like that," Coco squirmed.

"It's fine," Ryder dismissed. "I just mean, I'm not gonna date someone unless they're really special."

"Oh," Raffy grinned. "You actually really like him."

"Yeah," Ryder said, gazing over at Dean again, knowing and not caring that a sappy grin was settling on his face. "Yeah, I do."

"Well good for you," Raffy commended. It was a quick about face.

"Really?"

"Sure," she said. "I want you to be happy."

"Thanks, Raf."

Then they both looked at Coco, waiting for her final say. She looked nervously between them.

"Is this because of me?" she blurted out.

"What?" Ryder frowned.

"Is this because of me? Was I such a horrible girlfriend that I turned you gay?"

"No, that's ridiculous," Ryder stated.

"Don't be silly, Coco," Raffy added. "It doesn't work like that. Believe me, I know."

She did, because her boyfriend had turned out to be gay too. Not that Ryder labelled himself that way, he thought maybe he was more into personalities than gender specifics.

"Then how does it work? I don't get it."

Ryder didn't totally get it either, all he knew was how he felt, and that being with Dean felt more right than anything ever had.

"I dunno," he said, eyes seeking Dean out again. "I mean, look at him."

They both turned and looked across the room.

"You do have a point," Raffy appreciated.

Coco still looked confused.

"So, do you guys like..." she trailed off, twisting her hands together.

"What?"

"You know..."

"Oh! No. I mean, we haven't. It's one of the rules. Why? Do you think we should? I mean he is older, I guess..."

"No. I..." she said awkwardly, cheeks turning pink. "Forget I asked," she quickly finished.

Yep, this was why he broke up with her, she was so hard to talk to.

"Okay," Raffy intervened. "I think we're gonna get going. We have a study session."

"Oh okay," he shrugged. "See you guys later."

"Bye."

Once they'd left, Dean came over and leaned on the counter.

"How was that?" he asked.

"Okay, I guess," Ryder shrugged. It didn't really bother him what they thought.

"They get the message?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good."

"Hang on a second. Were you jealous?"

"Just making sure everyone knows where they stand."

It was actually really sweet.

"I promise you have nothing to worry about," Ryder assured.

Dean gave him a sheepish look. It was nice though, to be with someone that really wanted him, and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Come here," Ryder smiled, leaning over the counter. Dean leaned in too and they shared another kiss.

They were interrupted by the sound of an annoyed voice.

"So can I get a smoothie, like today?"

It was Jennifer.

"Yeah, sure," Ryder said, shooting Dean a grin as he grabbed a cup. "See you later?"

"If you're lucky" Dean smirked. All Ryder could do was smile, pretty sure that he already was.

xxx

"Mum, please call me back. I've got some good news."

It was probably pointless, leaving another message, but he had to try.

He shoved his phone in his pocket and headed into the garage for work.

"Oh my God," Ziggy grinned, as soon as he set foot inside. "Coco told me."

"What's that?" he asked, even though he knew full well where she was going. He wasn't in the mood for her teasing.

"About you and Ryder! Where did _that_ come from?"

"What do you mean?" He was sick of being treated like his feelings didn't matter as much as everyone else's. Like what he wanted wasn't as valid or important.

"I mean _Ryder_. Isn't he a bit-"

"Don't," Dean warned. He wasn't gonna hear shit about the one person who never treated him like he was less.

"Lighten up," she frowned. She didn't get it.

"This is important to me, Zig. It isn't a joke. I need it. Need him. Okay?"

"Okay," she allowed, backing off. "I didn't mean anything..."

"Let's just drop it," he suggested. He didn't wanna fight with her, but he didn't wanna deal with her shit either. He just wanted to get on with work.

"No," she insisted, grabbing his arm and spinning him back to face her. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise how serious you were about him."

She did look genuinely apologetic. Well, he couldn't stay mad at her for being immature, not when he was often guilty of the same thing.

"It's fine." He knew he was probably overreacting anyway, he was on edge about his mum today. Sometimes it just really got to him.

"Friends?"

"Yeah."

"And if something was bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?"

Now he felt bad for snapping at her, she was a mate.

"As if I'm gonna spill my guts to you," he smiled.

"Fair enough," she grinned back.

xxx

Ryder headed to Dean's after homework, it was the usual routine now. Dean wasn't outside, which was a little strange, so Ryder knocked on the door. There was no answer, but Dean's work boots were by the steps. For a second he freaked out, maybe Dean had a girl with him? Maybe he'd gotten sick of waiting around for a kid?

Well, even if that was true, he had to know. He knocked louder.

"Dean!"

Nothing. He tried the door, it was unlocked, so he let himself in.

Dean was sitting on the floor, an empty bottle in his hand, the whole place reeking of booze.

"What are you doing?" Ryder asked.

Dean scowled up at him.

"Having a drink." He lifted the empty bottle for more, tossing it aside when he finally realised it was empty.

"You're drunk," Ryder realised, he didn't understand. Why would Dean be this drunk, alone, at this time of the day?

"No shit, Sherlock."

He ignored that nasty comment.

"Why? It doesn't look good."

An angry look passed over Dean's face.

"This is what adults do. Get lost if you can't handle it."

"No," Ryder said, crouching down to Dean's level. He wasn't going to walk away and leave Dean like this. He'd seen his mum drunk a few times, knew she sometimes said things she didn't really mean. "Something is obviously wrong. You know you can talk to me. Please..."

Dean stopped fighting then and focussed on Ryder as best he could. Then the next thing he knew, Dean had launched at him and was clinging on tight.

It caught him by surprise, but he didn't shy away from it, Dean was obviously struggling big time with something.

"Umm, it's alright," he offered. "I'm here."

"You're the only one," Dean slurred into his shoulder.

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to be here for Dean, he knew that much, but he didn't really know how he could help him. It seemed like Dean had an idea though.

He started kissing him, it was sloppy and Dean tasted like alcohol, it wasn't great. And they were breaking the rules, being in here together.

He managed to push Dean back enough to voice that.

"Dean, maybe we shouldn't..."

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted this?"

"I do. Just maybe when you're not so drunk."

"You think I don't know what I'm doing?"

"No, I just-" Then Dean was kissing him again, trying to press him down onto the floor. It wasn't right, and he managed to scramble up and away from him. Dean didn't really care, he just laid on the floor and passed out.

What should he do now? He obviously couldn't deal with this alone. He couldn't tell Leah. Colby. He was Dean's friend and he knew about them.

Ryder didn't have his number, so he grabbed the phone from Dean's pocket and hit call.

"Dean?" Colby answered.

"No, it's Ryder."

"Ryder? Is everything okay?"

"Not really. Can you come over to Dean's?"

"Are either of you hurt?"

"No, he's just drunk. Like really drunk. I'm not sure what to do..."

"Alright, it's okay. I'll come straight over."

"Thanks."

xxx

"Shit," Dean groaned, looking up to find Colby's disapproving face. Great. "What happened?"

"You got plastered and scared the crap out of Ryder, that's what."

"What do you mean?" he frowned. Man, his head was pounding.

"Here," Colby said, shoving a glass of water and an aspirin at him. "I think you tried it on with him."

"Oh God... Is he okay?"

"He's fine. Now."

"What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"It's morning."

"Did you sleep here?"

"Not the first time we've shared a bed. Anyway, you were so drunk you never moved. Snored a bit, though."

"Tell me, why are you here again? Kinda seems like it's just to give me a hard time."

"Ryder called me. I told you, you scared him."

"Shit."

"You said that."

He'd made a mess of a lot of things in his life, but he really regretted this one. He shouldn't have called her again, but he couldn't get that stupid idea out of his head that she might be proud of him for starting an apprenticeship.

"Reckon I got any hope of fixing this?"

"Get yourself cleaned up and then I guess you'll find out."

xxx

Maybe this was what Leah was talking about when she said 'adult stuff'. He hadn't liked seeing Dean like that, didn't know why he would choose getting drunk over talking to his boyfriend if he had a problem. Of course Ryder knew he wasn't perfect himself, he'd acted out when he was upset, but that was before he had someone to turn to. Unless Dean couldn't talk to him, because he was the problem. Maybe Dean wanted more than he was getting from the relationship? He had tried to make things more physical between them. But then, why wouldn't he have just asked? At least given them a chance to talk about it? Maybe adults didn't think about whether or not they should have sex so much. Maybe they just did it. Man, maybe he was in over his head here. Maybe he was just a dumb kid after all.

His phone buzzed with a message from Dean.

 **Can we talk?**

Well, one thing he did know was that they had to sort this out.

 **Be there in 5**

He headed over to Dean's. It was Saturday, so there was no school or work. Colby was still there.

"Hey Ryder," the senior constable greeted, offering him a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm alright. Dean said he wanted to talk."

"Are you okay with that? I can stay if you want me to."

Last night had rattled him a little, just because he didn't understand, but he wasn't frightened of Dean or anything.

"It's okay. But thanks."

"Anytime," Colby offered, clapping a hand to his shoulder. "I mean that. I'd rather come here off-duty than on."

Ryder nodded, he appreciated what Colby meant. Neither of them wanted to see Dean hauled off by the cops for drunk and disorderly.

When Colby left, Dean appeared, looking freshly showered. That was a start.

"Hey," he said, offering Ryder an uncertain smile. And if Ryder had had any vague ideas about maybe taking the tough line, they evaporated with that look. He couldn't be mad at Dean.

"I-"

"So-"

They both said at the same time, and then both smiled a little because it reminded them of that day at hospital when they'd first started down this path.

"You go," Ryder offered this time.

"I'm sorry. I don't really remember it, but Colby told me, I shouldn't have pushed you. You don't deserve to be treated like that."

"I think you were upset..."

Dean gave him a miserable look.

"I guess I was. I just got another reminder of what I am. Good for nothing. And then I went and proved it by handling it the way I did."

No, Ryder didn't want them to go down this road, or for Dean to think things like that about himself. It wasn't true.

He stepped closer, wanting to lessen the distance between them. He needed Dean to really hear this.

"You made a mistake. I know what it's like to want approval from anywhere you can get it."

The look in Dean's eyes, told him that he understood. That when the person who was supposed to love you most in the world told you you weren't good enough, you needed to fill that void elsewhere. If your mum didn't love you, you needed to find someone else who would, and that sometimes you needed to hear them say it, and that meant you thought you had to do something earn those words.

"Please just tell me I didn't hurt you."

"I'm fine."

"Are we done?"

"I guess," Ryder said. Dean looked disproportionally disappointed. Then Ryder realised he'd been talking about them, their relationship, not the conversation. "I mean, no. Not us. I wouldn't dump you over one screw up. It wasn't the first dumb thing you've done, and it won't be the last."

That coaxed a smile out of Dean, reminding him of the first advice he'd given Ryder.

"If you wanna make up for it though, you could tell me why you ended up like that."

"Fair enough, I guess," he sighed, taking a seat on a stump. Ryder sat down beside him to listen. "I tried calling my mum again. She doesn't want anything to do with me."

So he was right, this was about Dean's mother.

"Dean, you should have talked to me. You know I get it."

"Yeah, I do. It wasn't my finest hour."

"Before my mum left, we talked. It wasn't perfect, we still have issues, but there was peace in it too. We came to a truce."

"My mum won't even talk to me."

"I couldn't talk to my mum either. But Grumps and Roo made us. It was for the best in the end."

"So, what are you saying?"

"What if you went to Mangrove River? Saw her face to face. She might have to talk to you then."

"I dunno..."

"I'll come with you. I mean, if you want..."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Dean gave him a guilty look.

"That's in the past. We're all about the moment, right?" Ryder smiled, leaning in.

"Yeah," Dean smiled back. Then he closed the gap between them, and this time the kiss was just right.

xxx

"Ready?"

"Na," Dean answered, getting out of the car anyway. Ryder followed.

It had been a while since he'd been here. Not since Willow had convinced him to walk away. After he got out of jail his mum had blamed him for abandoning her and she'd tried to stab him. He really hoped today didn't end in a knife fight, especially not with Ryder here.

He shared a look with the kid, took strength from having someone close who believed in him, and knocked on the door.

Then suddenly he was face to face with his mother for the first time in years.

"Mum." He hated the need he could hear in his own voice, and the fact that he knew she'd hear it too and wouldn't care.

"What do you want?" she barked at him.

"Nothing. Just to talk. To make sure you're alright."

She looked past him at Ryder.

"Hi Mrs Thompson," Ryder greeted, his usual cheerful self. He was trying to be nice, but the difference between him and this world Dean had just brought him into, only reminded him how impossible that gap he was trying to close was.

"Who's this dweeb?" she sneered.

"You don't talk about him like that."

An ugly smile curled her lip.

"Oh, back on the boys, are we? That's what got you into trouble in the first place. I told you that Colby Thorne was no good. Thought he was something else, that one."

She turned to Ryder.

"Stay away from this one, sweetheart. He'll ruin your life."

Like he'd ruined her's was the inference. Well he hadn't asked to be born, that was on her.

"No, he won't," Ryder bit back. And that might've been the moment right there, when Dean realised he loved this person. "He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. You don't know what you're missing out on."

"If you believe that, you're as stupid as he is. He's no good, hopeless like his deadbeat father."

"What?" Dean snapped.

"Oh settle down, you don't have to worry about him anymore. He's dead. Shot down by his own kid."

"You told me you didn't know who my dad was!"

"You think I'm stupid enough to admit to sleeping with Cheryl Braxton's husband in this town? But I guess it doesn't matter now. Danny's dead and the boys are all gone, and you never made anything of yourself."

"I'm a Braxton?! How could you keep that from me? I had brothers right here!"

"Whinge, whinge. You spent enough time with them."

"Everything could have been different!"

"Yeah," his mum agreed. "You might have ended up like Casey..."

All he could see was red, and everything felt echoey, like voices travelling down a tunnel. Something was pulling at his hand.

"Dean," Ryder was saying. "Dean, this was a bad idea. Come on. Let's go."

"Maybe we'd all be better off," she spat.

She was taunting him, wanting him to snap, trying to get him to do something he'd regret. He wanted to hurt her, like she'd hurt him. But then there was Ryder, standing by him, asking him to be better. It had taken this long, but he knew who he needed in his life now. He was ready to wash the poison away.

"Congrats, Mum. You got your wish. We're done."

xxx

They both took a second when they climbed back in the car.

"You okay?" Ryder asked. There were a million things that could refer to, finally being done with his mum, finding out he was Braxton, knowing that his dad was dead, that he had brothers, nieces and nephews out there. But right now only one thing seemed to matter, the boy sitting beside him. He reached over and squeezed Ryder's hand, so grateful they'd found each other, he honestly didn't know what he'd do without Ryder now. And when Ryder squeezed back, well he knew the answer to that question.

"Yeah," he said. "I will be."

 **AN: Well, there it is. All I can say about this story is that it was inspired, it flowed, it felt like it wrote itself because the characters work, and I have to admit I'm a little bit proud of it. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed :)**


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